Why?

Why is it the more you love someone the more they have the ability to hurt you? I guess I just need to care less, but I am not sure that is possible for me. I hurt. I hurt so much that I want to run as far and as fast as I can. (Duh I can barely walk so you can sense my frustration) I hate when someone you love makes you doubt yourself.
It has taken me a long time to value myself and understand myself, to be at peace with who I am. I like this place where I am in my life and I don't want to loose it.
Why can't family realize how precious a gift we have been given? We have been given each other, and that is a blessing. Families have the unique ability to know us for who we are and for the mistakes we make and love us anyway. We have so many good memories why would anyone want to focus on the few bad memories? (Or, God forbid, believe in ones that never happened?)
My family is diverse and unique and totally loveable. I love our get togethers and watching each and every one of them interact with each other. My daughters-in-law are great and so is Eric! I only wish I knew Jon more. My children, although grown, are still mine to love and be proud of. Grandchildren truly are a gift from God and I treasure them as such. Their little minds are so beautiful, and without guile. I love talking to them and just listening to what they have to say. My heart breaks that I haven't been allowed the opportunity to get to know Abbey and Riley the way I have with the others. So much time has been wasted that we can never get back. It is an ache in my heart that is always there. Kyli OMG if you only knew how much you mean to me.
I have be blessed to know Kyli so well for the first 3 years of her life, and to have been able to be with Max so much of his life. Quiet times are when you get to really know your grandchildren, when they just talk and let you into their worlds. Keira has been opening up to us more and more and it is like having a flower bloom in your hands, wonderful and awe inspiring. Keagan and Jack and starting to grow and bloom in our lives also.
I have so much to love and enjoy and appreciate in my life, why is it that my heart can still hurt so much over things I can't control? Why?